JB: We are about to drink a “flight” of eight New Old Lompoc beers. Can you feel the excitement?
JB: Where should we start? Wasn’t there a 5%? Ah, Golden Ale.
50/1000: Fool’s Golden Ale, by New Old Lompoc, Portland
MM: I hope this beer is as delicious as our quest to drink 1,000 beers. That’s a toast, to this, our 50th beer!
JB: They say, “our lightest ale.” Perhaps a good one for the ladies.
MM: And Mike!
JB: Really, this beer speaks to you?
MM: In a “I want to chug a couple pints of it” kind of way.
JB: Yeah, summer.
MM: I’m getting really pumped on the idea of summer beers in general, maybe because we’ve been doing a lot of heavy, hearty beers.
JB: Chewy ones?
MM: Yeah. There’s… no flavor really, then a bit of aftertaste. It’s really light!
JB: I’m sorry, honestly, no flavor.
MM: I think this would be good, paired with water. Any other flavor would overpower it!
JB: Maybe with a saltine? Peanut?
MM: Maybe, you don’t want to go too far. I honestly do like this, so I don’t want to talk bad about it. It fits on the tray. It has its place.
51/1000: Condor Bay Ale, by New Old Lompoc, Portland
JB: (toasting) To the condor.
MM: To the condor.
MM: This is an ongoing trend here. Time to kick it up a notch, guys.
JB: Well, I’m going to let myself be distracted by food for a bit.
MM: It’s going to be hard to say something interesting about this beer! It doesn’t taste very different!
JB: It’s a little hoppier. A little.
MM: If we came back here in the summer, I would be like, “Which of these is the awesome summertime one?” And I don’t think it would matter which one I picked.
52/1000: 69 Dark Lager, by New Old Lompoc, Portland
JB: Get it while it lasts, folks.
MM: It’s seasonal. Deliciously seasonal.
JB: It’s portery. But still mild. I’m fond of it!
MM: I thought it was going to be a lot more difficult.
JB: That’s potentially a theme here, but we haven’t into the HUGE imperial pale ale, and all. So like, fruity, but next to no bitterness. But not sweet!
MM: That’s the weird part of it.
JB: I love that about it. Sweet beers are not my thing.
MM: We’ve just done three, but this is the favorite so far.
53/1000: Proletariat Red, by New Old Lompoc, Portland
MM: I like the name. I don’t even know what a proletariat is. Is it a political person? It seems vaguely revolutionary.
JB: It means the working class. The people. As opposed to the elite.
MM: And it’s red, so it’s like communist.
JB: This beer is hard to classify…What does it taste like?
MM: There’s something familiar about it, but I can’t figure out what. It smells something like the Duchess of Bourgogne. I don’t think I would want a pint of this.
JB: I have to figure out something to say about it.
MM: I don’t think this is the people’s beer.
JB: I’m in love with the smell of this beer, but then it doesn’t follow through. The smell’s actually very alcoholic.
MM: There’s a medicinal smell. If that smell was translated more into the flavor, I don’t know that it would be a good thing.
JB: So maybe it strikes the balance, between offering that smell, but not fully infusing it in the beer. I think we’re going to leave this one deeply conflicted and confused.
MM: Let’s make a note to come back to this beer.
54/1000: Sockeye Cream Stout, by New Old Lompoc, Portland
MM: I like things on nitro! I don’t fully understand how that system works, but I know it makes those beers smooth. I want to try every beer on nitro. Like Pabst. What would Pabst be like on nitro?
JB: You understand that nitro —
MM: It’s nitro versus CO2.
JB: Yeah. They’re both compressed gases. But the CO2 as a propellant also is absorbed by the beer and keeps it highly carbonated. The nitrogen doesn’t do the same thing. You might also like the hand-pumped cask beer that Bridgeport, for instance, does.
MM: Can you get nitro for your kegerator?
JB: I know you can get it for your Honda CRX. But I don’t know about the kegerator.
MM: Oh, Willow. Where’s Willow?
(Willow: It’s chocolately.)
MM: I was telling her today that that’s her catch phrase.
JB: I’m getting cherry. Like the dried soaked-in-something-good cherry.
MM: It’s good we’re drinking this warmer. Cold, we would be complaining about it being much too mild.
JB: Is this what New Old Lompoc does, though?
MM: We’ve got a trend here, yeah. It might be a good place to bring new beer drinkers. They can learn about several, but without being overwhelmed by them.
JB: Yeah, you can go through the styles and learn, without finding any of them off-putting or offensive. And the next time you have them…
MM: You’ve learned about what to expect, and it’s not a shock to your system.
55/1000: Centennial India Pale Ale, by New Old Lompoc, Portland
MM: Whoa, that has flavor.
JB: Ah, true IPA.
MM: It tastes toasted.
JB: I could go nice and slow with this, it lingers. I’ve had one sip, and it still sits on my tongue.
MM: It’s there on the hump of your tongue.
JB: What part is the hump?
MM: I imagine a tongue being an arc from the back to the front, like a rainbow. With the middle being the peak. I think in the cartoons, it’s always shaped like that. The part this beer sits on is the top of the rainbow.
JB: Okay. This is particularly flavorful for such a bitter, full-on IPA. I recommend it. I recommend this beer.
56/1000: LSD (Lompoc Strong Draft), by New Old Lompoc, Portland
JB: On the menu, it said this was a new cult classic.
MM: That seems bold.
JB: I’m not comfortable with it. Okay, no smell… No real taste either.
MM: We’re back to the first couple. The classic Lompoc “flavor”.
JB: I don’t think this is the new cult beer. Man, I am getting nothing off this.
MM: No, this is is really really…
JB: Really really what?
MM: I was going to say boring. They say “a touch of smoked malt.” I do get a bit of that in the aftertaste.
57/1000: C-Note, by New Old Lompoc, Portland
MM: Before we even start, can I say some things? I love that they’re listing the hops that they use. Crystal —
JB: Wait, that ‘s a famous one.
JB: That, too.
MM: Chinook. Centennial.
JB: I think Centennial’s well-known.
MM: Columbus. And Challenger. Which is all of the “C” hops.
JB: Wait, is that an accident?
MM: No! That’s why it’s called the C-Note! Conceptually, this is my favorite beer, ever! Also, I think all beers should list the hops they use.
JB: Hoppy as hell! I love this.
MM: This is only remarkable because of the other 7 mild beers. I don’t think it’s remarkable outside of Hedge House.
JB: Well, it’s a breath of fresh air, and I like it. I like this beer. It’s as described. It’s a big, bitter, full IPA.
MM: For the order that we went through, this is definitely the finisher. On a high note. A high C-Note. A C-sharp!
JB: This entry, in whole, reads kind of harsh on New Old Lompoc.
MM: You have to put it context of all the beer we’ve been drinking. And these are mild in comparsion to those. And our expectation at this point is pretty powerful beers. It’s what we like to talk about. But this place is very approachable, and that’s important.
Just 943 to go!
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