We are so much better than them

Date: March 1, 2009
Time: 3:00 pm
Location: Mike’ house
Caleb Braaten
Mike Merrill
Josh Berezin

82/1000: Allagash Tripel Reserve Belgian Style
JB: I can’t help but think that this is Portland, Maine horning in on Portland, Oregon territory.
CB: Is there a rivalry between the two?
JB: No, because we are so much better than them.
MM: We think it’s probably more them being jealous of us.
CB: So there is! This is great.
MM: “Pour slowly into wide-mouthed glass.”
JB: No, more slowly!
MM: You can’t control it. It’s gravity. It says to toast to a special occasion. How about to the bad weather of New York, without which Caleb would have returned home by now?
JB: This is a Belgian trippel. I’ve had a lot of those.
MM: It’s good, it tastes like it’s supposd to.
JB: It’s less sweet and more bitter than a trippel usually is, though.
CB: I thought it was going to be a lot more sweet.
JB: I think if I’m buying an east coast trippel, the Ommegang stuff is better. You know, the Chimay wannabe.
CB: This is actually pretty easy to drink. I wasn’t expecting it to be. I expected it to be kind of gross.
MM: Me, too. And the label is so bad!
CB: It says that it’s appropriate as an apertif, and that makes me think it’s going ot be really sickly sweet.
JB: Is there a beer they’d refer to as a digestif?
MM: I want to find that one. So, with the packaging, there’s not actually a picture of a witch on it, but it seems like there would be. And that’s a problem.
JB: Classic beer label fiasco.
MM: Do you think it’s easy to make this kind of beer?
CB: I don’t know how to make any kind of beer.
MM: But I mean this isn’t distinctive in any way, maybe they’re just using the “Tripel” recipe that’s kind of standard.
JB: Could be. Let’s move onto our next beer.
83/1000: Gordon Ale, Oskar Blues Brewery, Lyons, Colorado
CB: I’m excited for this, cause it’s in a can.
JB: We love the can.
CB: It’s very in vogue to drink from a can, which is fine with me.
MM: In some ways, I prefer it. I like a can of beer.
JB: But what the hell is the deal with this beer? You got a four-pack of cans for ten bucks?
MM: Ten-fifty.
JB: And it doesn’t really say what kind of beer it is.
MM: They make other canned beers that come in a six-pack, so this is weird.
JB: They say “If you knew Gordon Knight, this ale needs no explanation. If you didn’t, we’re sorry.” What is that supposed to mean?
MM: Is he a Nike guy?
JB: I don’t think he’s a Nike guy. But I’m left needing their explanation, and with their apologies.
MM: So, let’s drink, then look it up.
CB: It’s not as strong as I thought it would be.
JB: It reminds me of something from Dogfish Head. Maybe because it has that fresh-hoppy thing that they like to do.
MM: These are both high-alcohol. This one is 8.7% and the Tripel was 9%.
CB: Those high-alcohol beers will fuck you up. Normally, you go and have three or four beers. And three or four of these would fuck you up.
MM: So what’s the deal with Gordon Knight?
JB: I almost don’t want to know. Like, who cares about your faux mythology. But I’ll look him up. Realbeer.com is the first hit. They say he died in 2002 after a helicopter crash while fighting a forest fire.
CB: So he was just a dude?
MM: Not even a beer dude, just a dude.
JB: Uh, no. He did beer things.
MM: He’s a time traveler. He went back in time and invented beer.
JB: He was winning beer awards in the early nineties and hopping from brewery to brewery. Basically, he was a really good beermaker. But he didn’t make this beer. It is simply a tribute to him. I wonder if he would be pleased with it.
MM: Has this beer won any gold medals?
JB: No.
MM: I would have to say, then, that he wouldn’t. But this is good.
CB: I like it. I don’t think it has to be in a can.
MM: But it’s designed for camping. It says “pack it in, pack it out.”
JB: Okay, I went and did some research just now. It has, in fact, won several medals.
MM: Gold?
JB: Gold, Bronze, Beer of the Year, and others.
MM: Then it truly is a tribute to Gordon Knight. We should toast him with the remainder of the Allegash Tripel Reserve. Because it’s good for toasting.
JB: And this one isn’t.
CB: No, we shouldn’t even be drinking this out of glasses.

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One Response to We are so much better than them

  1. freddy says:

    Personally, I would find a very piney/resiny IPA to be similar to an herbal digestif in some ways. Say, Green Flash.

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