Where we and the deep beer nerds differ

J: Let’s start it up.
M [tastes]: This is so boring.
J: What is it?
85/1000: Schneider’s Wiesen Edel-weisse

M: Nothing I say matters in this entire blog post, because I’m so stuffed up from allergies.
J: I will definitively rule upon this beer, then.
M: I want to compare this to Hamm’s. Just to see how dead my senses are.
J [tasting]: Mmm! You can’t smell? This has a strong and remarkable smell.
M: I can’t smell anything at all!
J: It’s herbal. It’s a got a piney taste, and a woody bitterness that lingers. You’re getting none of that?
M: It’s … cold. And wet.
J: You’re in no state to be doing this. Do you have a prescription?
M: No.
J: You need to go to the doctor. Have you ever heard of Allegra?
M: I tried Claritin. It doesn’t work.
J: I’ve never seen this beer in a bar before, but it has enough flavor, for someone whose taste buds are working, that I would seek it out.
M: I would say that I’m enjoying it.
J: But that doesn’t mean anything.
86/1000: Bridgeport’s Fallen Friar

J: It’s a Belgian-style Tripel. I just tasted it, and I’d say it’s true to its type. But that’s a bland thing to say. How does it taste to you?
M: Oh, it’s different from the other.
J: I’m just impressed you can tell.
M: I’m really interested in what you have to say about this.
J: Very straight Belgian trippel, really. Citrusy, wheaty…
M: I wonder if the citrusy is what’s getting through. I wouldn’t have said that but I can perceive pungence, and something gets through. It’s an interesting way to “taste” beer.
J: I would say if this is cheaper, or more available, you should get this instead of an actual Belgian. It’s straight-up and solid. If it’s not, get a Belgian. Unless you’re all about stimulating the local markets in these challenging economic times.
87/1000: Laguntias “Undercover Shutdown” Double IPA

M: What do you think of this?
J: I think it’s dark. I haven’t tasted it yet. But, dark for an IPA.
M: Doesn’t smell like anything. But I couldn’t get air through my nose. Oh, it’s sharp like a knife. God, I wish I coud taste it! It’s so weird to be able to feel it and not taste it!
J: The high alcohol, you could probably detect that. It’s like, a vapor effect, not a taste. Can you?
M: Yeah, I think so.
J: Beyond that, it’s like a milder version of the 120 Minute IPA.
M: I think that if I could taste it, I wouldn’t like it as much as I do now.
J: I like it more than the 120 Minute. It’s actually drinkable. But I need to say something more substantive about this.
M: I’m sorry to lay it all on you. I could talk about the carbonation comapred to the last one. If that’s helpful.
J: No.
M: This is the only one that leaves me with an aftertaste.
J: Can you taste that?
M: Well, an aftersense.
J: I’ll tell you, I don’t know when you’d drink this beer. Like, for a special tasting. For to experience something new. But I think they just made it because it’s sort of a prestige category of beer. But there are very few people who actually want to drink it. This is where we and the deep beer nerds differ. They celebrate this.