Monthly Archives: December 2003

8-bitxtravaganza/time warpxtravaganza

They had the primitive technologist convention, microPALOOZA, atGround Kontrol, a “retrocade” populated by Centipede and Dig Dug and BurgerTime and varying degrees of Commodore, on display, some for sale ($1499 for a game using vector graphics). Under-21s in nu Pac … Continue reading

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Mitochondria Guy, Now Found

“Booyah,” as the aforementioned Science Party Ditcher/Good Friend Jay Winebrenner would say. Ladies und Gentlemen, the Mitochondria Guy. His 1997 findings have “had a major impact on the field of ischemia-reperfusion research.”

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The Mitochondria Guy vs. La Virgen de Guadalupe (Gomez Escobedo)

My good friend Jay Winebrenner works at a froufy bar in NW Portland, where lots of rich people go, and they serve non-vegetarian items such as octopus. As a result, he meets lots of people I would never have occassion … Continue reading

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Metalest Holiday Card Ever

From Andrew Miller, homie in the KC: ON the cover, a sleigh and the word “you” Inside, “sleigh me” and an inscription: “Julianne, May your holidays reign (like blood from a lacerated sky), and may you fly free in 2004, … Continue reading

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Basement Jack Swing b/w Tenderoni

Homeboy P-Disco and I are obsessed with New Jack Swing and will, in fact, start DJing it the second we can find Toni Tony Tone vinyl. As such, the best $8.50 I spent yesterday was not for tickets to the … Continue reading

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Traditional Medicinalz

Portland Oregon’s Voodoo Doughnut, home of the Tang doughnut, the caffeine doughnut, and the world-famously disgusting Robitussin doughnut (until the FDA smackdown), has created a new doughnut called “Maple Blazer Bluntz.” It is a doughnut shaped like a blunt, rolled … Continue reading

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Press SIDplay, sit back, and relax

Whoa, mami. It has come to my attention, both in person and via this MTPPS weblog, that certain competitors and audience members of the Portland All-Area Laptop Battle 2003 are dissatisfied with some of the judges’ choices. While I will … Continue reading

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2Nite, Whoa

TONITE! Portland All-Area Laptop Battle Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, Portland, OR, 9 pm WHO IS THE BEST LIVE IMPROVISING LAPTOP PERSON IN PORTLAND? Competitors include Strategy, Glomm, CNS Engineering, Y.A.c.H.T., [[VVRRSSIONN]], Brian Foote, Deceptikon, Dizzystarhouse, EIGHT MORE! (two women!) All- … Continue reading

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Your Cookie’s TASTY

On Kelis’ “In Public” off TASTY: Why must Nas refer to his “erection,” awkwardly instructing Kelis to “spread your legs”? Where is R.Kelly, wielding his smooth lyrical bible when you need him? (Picture him as Gandalf with a wand of … Continue reading

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Totally Tubular

My “DJ” Night at Tube: An Index Number of times resident DJ guy had to fix my levels: 2928 Number of times record skipped due to a stiletto heel: 2 Amount of money drunk guy gave me to play “Spoonin’ … Continue reading

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