bananas for protein

I will now make a case for the unfairly vilified full Tofurkey feast: product of Oregon (of course), offered in the freezer section of your local vegetarian foodstore around this time of year. I love it for its visual element: tasty globe of stuffed fake meat that comes wrapped in a plastic bag. It is like eating pretend food; like we are playing grown-ups, and it is our holiday-meal fantasy. The mock wishbone looks like two snausages pressed together with an iron. But it tastes like jerky.
If you’re a coffee snob like me: might I recommend the Hairbender? After friends, Stumptown is the main thing I miss about Portland. (I also mourn my cheapass rent.)

This entry was posted in Opinion. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to bananas for protein

  1. tinkey says:

    i miss the latent racism. that’s why i moved to chicago, for its overtness.
    yay for whitey!
    deadpan. that’s my middle name.

  2. Josh Berezin says:

    “Ordering Stumptown Coffee over the Internet is fun and easy!”
    Do you actually do this? Very legit.
    The line at the Belmont Stumpy this morning (t-day) was all the way back to the bathroom. But we waited patiently. For what else could we do. We must have our stumpy.

  3. Abe says:

    “coffee snob”? Holler at me cowgirl, I will lead you to the best new york has to offer..

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *