relatives reading the internet

Mi Familia Esc0bed0,
If you are reading this, so is Aunt Josie, and she’s done way worse shit than I ever will. Also, please note she was not born in 1939, she was born in 1962. Sorry!
1. EFF A CAPTAIN EO: the shambling movie theater by my apt, Park Slope Pavilion, which is covered floor-to-ceiling in purple casino carpet, is the first theater in the country to get the Christie CP2000 2K projector, with a resolution twice as sharp as HDTV. I saw Revenge of the Sith there and felt like I could reach out and lick Hayden Christiansen’s evil face.
2. Peter from Houston writes in to kindly inform us that Mike Jones’ “Got it Sewed Up” originally appeared on the Swishahouse mixtape The Day Hell Broke Loose, which came out when I was giving birth to twins that will eventually save the galaxy from the dark side. Thank you Nice Peter.
3. My mom and tia Bea are visiting NY for the first time from Wyoming and Arizona, respectively. In a bizarre twist of reverse cultural-elitism, their favorite game so far is to snap on taquerias in the East Village: they look at the dry-erase board menus posted in the windows and decide whether they’re authentic enough. Mole on the menu gets the “thumbs up,” they are skeptical of anyplace selling chimichangas, and if a restaurant sells tortillas by the dozen it generally passes on principle. We have not actually tested any of them since I am skeptical of all U.S. taquerias east of California (Texas puts too much Texas in it; New Mexico is OK tho they are a bit liberal with the corn), and also, my mom stuffed nine Ziploc bags of homemade enchiladas into her suitcase, so FACE on a NY taqueria.
4. After the retrospective at the Met, Max Ernst is my new favorite 20th-century man-painter after Philip Guston. If you want to be my date (or dates) to the Rosamond Bernier lecture on June 3, email.
5. After the more highly publicized retrospective at the Met, I still think Coco Chanel is boring and am holding out for the exhibit on Miuccia Prada; I mean, she is a feminist/communist mime!

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2 Responses to relatives reading the internet

  1. jess says:

    i know you said “favorite” not “best”, but omg ernst over guston, no way!

  2. jess says:

    whoops, haha, i no read too good

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