dear tim duncan

what is your address? myself, my friends and last night’s entire population of ESPN Zone want to send you something in the mail. it is a plaque called “THE BIASED REFERREE WINNER’S CIRCLE AWARD.” The only reason the pistons shut down mentally is because they knew they weren’t simply playing against the spurs–they were playing against an entire cast of Texas-biased refs, letting your fouls go and basically holding your hands to the finish line.
As always, the best retribution is knowing that you have to live with yourself.
thank you,
p.s. ESPN Zone, you think it is corny because it is in times square, they are selling $9.50 sodas and half the over-50 Polo-and-tan-having white dudes in the audience have forgone their company golf tournament to fly in special from Poughkeepsie just for this one moment, but once you (I) actually get over yr (my) self and go there, it is EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER WANTED: hundreds of screaming people ready to fan-beef, gigantor televisions the size of Rasheed’s personal theatre (i saw it on Cribs), TELEVISIONS IN THE BATHROOM SO YOU DO NOT HAVE TO MISS ANYTHING WHILST PEEING. Next season i’m posted up in the corner with my miscreant Brooklyn posse, yelling airball.

This entry was posted in Opinion. Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to dear tim duncan

  1. Chris says:

    Post-game interview with Mike Tiricoooo-
    Mike: Tim, a lot of writers have taken to calling you, “Timid Tim,” how do you feel about that?
    Tim: HAHA I HAVE NOT HEARD THAT UNTIL YOU JUST TOLD ME THAT. HAHA. WELL I CAN ONLY DO MY BEST. (look of total terror/relief on his eyes)

  2. jck says:

    I didn’t get that the refs were biased, maybe I missed it. I think Spurs are a good team, Duncan is good, Ginobilli is a good player, so is Parker, and Bowen is a good defender, Horry is cluth

  3. Lems says:

    I must go there. It sounds like mecca.

  4. TM says:

    Julianne, your dedication to your NBA Husband is positively Penelope-like. But maybe if he hadn’t left the greatest clutch shooter in the history of the league open, with seconds to go in game 5… TO DOUBLE TEAM AN ALREADY CORNERED GINOBILI…

  5. Jonathan Espinosa says:

    It’s only natural for the Spurs to win the NBA title! SAN ANTONIO is the best defensively and offensively as proven in the regualar season and the playoffs. SAN ANTONIO is the chameleon team that adjusts to how it’s opponents play. But when they do change they are equal to or more often than not better than their opponents style of play be it defensively or offensively.
    We dont need the sports analyst to explain as to why the spurs win!

  6. danyel says:


  7. matt says:

    don’t forget the video fishing on the top floor of espn. also, there’s a boxing game that probably couldn’t be more fun (or viscerally unpleasant) unless you were actually getting punched in the face by someone four times your size.

  8. jw says:

    Quit whining.

  9. RAndy McCaele says:

    can you seed me pictures of you to my E-mail so i can hage they in my room

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *