sorry, i can’t cook

Still love you, to all mi Missy-loving comrades: I thought I would change my mind. But after compare/contrasting and realizing this Missy Elliott album is still the self-same missy elliott album I heard three months ago in a godforsaken (yet heavily sandwich’d) listening session, barring a couple guest spots, full songs (“My Struggles,” “Can’t Stop”), and the H-town kow-tow track “Click Clack”–
I fully stand behind my initial “hokay” and casual enthusiasm about an album I should, in theory be falling off my badonkey-donk over, what with its explicitly feminista expressions (“Mommy”), its heart wringing confessional (“My Struggles”) and the presence of both Grand Puba and Fantasia Barrino. (And Vybz Kartel.) I do admit, the beats for “Joy” (Tim) and “On and On” (Pharrell) = netherworldly; I like that Mary J. raps; my favorite Missy song is a ballad, technically (“Nothing Out there for Me”) and my favorite Angie Stone song of last year was written by Missy Elliott. I feel The Cookbook‘s vaguely floundering, “Common Sense Spitkicker tour 2000”-style “I am going to traverse through the popular genres of today” thing doesn’t work for me with Missy like it does for MIA, because Missy has already innovated being freaky space lady, swing & sass & hungry on the come up–and also, the lyrics, they’re not so hot. But to paraphrase Chris “all up in’s revolving door” Ryan, I don’t want to love music INFUCKINGTHEORY. I want it to blow up in my heart like an angioplasty. I want it to feel like a fix.
Bee Minus!

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6 Responses to sorry, i can’t cook

  1. Matt C. says:

    oh noes, are you really saying that you like m.i.a. more than missy because she’s new and hip and trendy? because that sounds like me saying all like ‘sebastian telfair is a better point guard than allen iverson because he’s younger’ or something. I CANNOT COUNTENANCE THIS. plus, missy’s lyrics are not bad but good. if this was ‘that’s so raven’ you would be that mean girl character who was in ‘cheetah girls’ and i would be raven and i would be wondering why you’re so mean to my friend missy (played by annelise van der pol) and then i’d decide to get you back in some kind of wacky scrape that goes awry.
    a.k.a. DON’T HATE
    also, haven’t seen anything about basketball from you in a while and I am wondering WTF why not, what with the whole terry porter thing and jarret jack and the high school kid from seattle, seriously j.shep yr falling down on the job here
    and me with my blog being back and all

  2. julianne says:

    omg!! that is so not what i’m saying! I AM SAYING THAT ONE THING WORKS BETTER FOR MIA BECAUSE SHE WAS A NEWCOMER but missy, we expect other things from missy. whatvvzz!
    i took a basketball hiatus, i was only blogging about my brain
    i’ll be back in full swing next season, esp as the shit comes down w/rocafella NBA building etc
    welcome to jerz!

  3. yeah says:

    Uhh, “Click Clack” has nothing to do with houston, its an atlanta producer named shondrae’s beat for “you don’t want drama” by (memphis rappers) 8ball and mjg put in reverse.

  4. mia says:


  5. mia says:


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