a better mouse trap

Need advice on effective mouse traps. Don’t say “get a cat” — we had one before and, as previously reported, it escaped our apparently oppressive regime. Would like an effective trap that does not involve touching or looking at said mouse after if it is dead. Am ok with non-killing mouse trap, as long as it has a very lengthy chute to set it free, so that my hands and body do not have to get within 5-10 feet of live mouse. Otherwise, I cannot emphasize how much I do not want to look at or touch the dead one. Yes, I read the New York Times Magazine piece on elephants’ emotions. And the one before that on octopuses’ personalities. I realize there is a possibility that mice have feelings. But so do I. and I really fucking do not want to get rabies.

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8 Responses to a better mouse trap

  1. macia says:

    there are traps that are super-friendly with one-way doors. you just put some peanut butter in there, and the mouse runs in and can’t get out. he’ll live until the pb runs out. the trappers used to use them to catch squirrels at this school i worked at. unfortunately for the squirrels, the next step was drowning them. and that is why i oppose waterboarding enemy combatants.

  2. We at the Department of Safety have had some luck with the no-kill variety. When the mouse emerges from the track, it’s fur wet and greasy from the peanut butter, you will not be afraid of mice anymore. Your heart will just be filled with pity.

  3. lola says:

    Hey, the only thing that worked for us in San Francisco was hiring an exterminator. I just looked in the phone book and the guy who came was super old and wore a filthy cap with a plastic mouse glued to the brim. He had a thick Russian accent and told us to patch every single hole in the house. Mice have no bones, only cartlidge so they can squeeze thru any hole. He patched up quite a few of the holes, laid down these traps I’d never seen at the hardware store, came back to pick up the mice (not sure if they were humane, pretty sure the mice were dead)And we haven’t had the problem since.

  4. mairead says:

    if you unwrap bubble gum and leave it in yr apartment-corners, the mice nibble at it and die of constipation. no shit. it’s a bad, totally inhumane way to go, but it works.

  5. ezra says:

    I’ve had a few these past few years, and the snap traps (ew, totally not vegan, I know) work very well, but discovering a lifeless mouse in them is quite sad. The no-kill ones work so-so, but emptying them is totally nuts. You are supposed to free the mouse a mile from your home, otherwise they can find their way back. I can totally picture you on the L train with a mouse trap next to you, figuring out what stop is best to free the little guy…

  6. chotchkiss says:

    The disease of concern is hanta virus. Although theoretically it’s possible for any animal to contract rabies, data collected over a significant period of time shows that mice typically don’t get rabies.

  7. chotchkiss says:

    Sorry, I mis-typed. I meant MAMMAL not animal.

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