HUMBLE REQUEST

Does anyone have a live monkey I can borrow for my Halloween costume? I’ll give it back after the party. A panther would work, too. Hit me up!

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12 Responses to HUMBLE REQUEST

  1. adam says:

    Couldn’t you contact the ALF and orchestrate a prison break from the local zoo? While using a monkey as a prop for a costume might seem exploitive, I’m sure there’ll be a genuine exchange of affection far warmer than metal bars and the endless abyss of the eyes of indifferent children. Plus, it’s Frida Kahlo, so it’s for a good cause! It totally pumps lead into the modern cosmetic reconfigurations of the female body.
    Remember that Conflict song?
    “Cosmetic companies use dead animals to make their products, then poison many
    more by feeding it to them with the end result of encouraging sexism by
    convincing men and women to look the same as each other.” I’m still not entirely sure what that means, but yay for failed anarcho-peace punk! You could also go as a boozing chainsmoker draped in patches of massacres with band names like autocratic holocaust or something (which looking back on it, also seems weirdly exploitive) and piercings and regale people with stories of how you got the shit end of the police stick defending your right to free public housing, homeless style, in a soon to be demolished building!

  2. adam says:

    Couldn’t you contact the ALF and orchestrate a prison break from the local zoo? While using a monkey as a prop for a costume might seem exploitive, I’m sure there’ll be a genuine exchange of affection far warmer than metal bars and the endless abyss of the eyes of indifferent children. Plus, it’s Frida Kahlo, so it’s for a good cause! It totally pumps lead into the modern cosmetic reconfigurations of the female body.
    Remember that Conflict song?
    “Cosmetic companies use dead animals to make their products, then poison many
    more by feeding it to them with the end result of encouraging sexism by
    convincing men and women to look the same as each other.” I’m still not entirely sure what that means, but yay for failed anarcho-peace punk! You could also go as a boozing chainsmoker draped in patches of massacres with band names like autocratic holocaust or something (which looking back on it, also seems weirdly exploitive) and piercings and regale people with stories of how you got the shit end of the police stick defending your right to free public housing, homeless style, in a soon to be demolished building!

  3. You could also go as a boozing chainsmoker draped in patches of massacres with band names like autocratic holocaust or something (which looking back on it, also seems weirdly exploitive) TOO EASY!!! TRUTH DOT COM but really…

  4. adam says:

    Just as a clarification – I was talking about crust punks with infoshops and not hip, young, musical twenty-somethings in anti-smoking ad campaigns. The ease factor is precisely the point! I’m not against boozing or smoking but when both of those require extensive resource allocation that could be used for the causes all over your backpack maybe cutting down on the toxins’d be good for all kinds a progress! But them kids are good kids and this is a free-associative nightmare whose main focus was supposed to be liberating monkeys from the local zoo so J.E.S. could go as Frida Kahlo, and so they could be liberated from the local zoo. Yay for symmetry!

  5. mo says:

    Don’t worry, man, I wasn’t trying to flamerz you.

  6. adam says:

    It’s those exclamation marks! They’re powder kegs of misinformation. (!!!) < that was world war III, by ACCIDENT.

  7. Gross says:

    if yr going to a party, insist yr date dress as Rivera. Of course, he would need to look about 50.

  8. adam says:

    Comment 7 is brilliant! If he dresses as Rivera, though, make sure he walks around with an inflatable penis that has female dolls who aren’t representations of Frida attached to it and bring the whole party’s attention to it by having loud arguments about his sexual dishonesty. Then grab another girl and be like, “yeah, I don’t need you, I got my ooooown game.” Or(/and), have another date dressed as Leon Trotsky show up fashionably late and be like “Bam! You got the Mexican art world up in a storm while I’ve got all of a Russia in my bed!” Then have the Trotsky date fake assassinated. Seriously, that would OWN whatever party you’re going to. If the inflatable penis is too CRASS you could also have another friend show up fashionably late as Frida’s sister and all four of you (Frida, Diego, Trostsky and Frida’s sister) could get into a royal rumble. This is where the Trotsky friend gets assassinated by the Russian guard (an excellent costume choice for other friends too lame to come up with an awesome costume of their who considered just wrapping towels around their heads and saying they were being politically conscious).

  9. Gross says:

    You know who would make an ill Trotsky? Jon Dolan. At least ideologically.
    Sasha actually look a bit more like him – let’s not front.

  10. Gross says:

    You know who would make an ill Trotsky? Jon Dolan. At least ideologically.
    Sasha actually look a bit more like him – let’s not front.

  11. adam says:

    I just saw SFJ’s picture for the first time and if the one on his blog IS him then it looks like he has Lenin’s hair structure, which is brilliant because the fake Stalinist assassination of Trotsky can now include Lenin simultaneously and represent the obliteration of the revolution’s whole second wave! (the first being the suppression of labor and peasants by Trotsky and Lenin, which SFJ can multi-task and represent by having even more friends dress up as the Kronstadt sailors and get shot at by a Red supersoaker he’d carry in his jacket. Anyone see REDS? when that movie breaks away from the on/off relationship between Reed and Fletcher it’s pretty great, if this costume party DOES get this meta someone NEEDS to rep Emma Goldman, y’know?) Now all you need is someone to dress up like Stalin. Or you could put a note under the bathroom sign that says “Stall” and get SFJ plastered, add an (in) to Bathroom Stall(in) and turn the bathroom into a drunk tank/gulag. Poor Sasha though, so much work for halloween on account of uncanny resemblances!

  12. caps says:

    YO POST MORE NOW
    THX
    WOLL

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