SOUTH KOREANS ARE SOOOOO TALL

Debates last night: Obviously I thought Obama better informed, smarter. I despise McCain so much–his condescension, his outright lies, his inability to know who is running Pakistan, the fact that he cannot even pronounce Ahmadenijad’s name–I wanted to throw my beer at our television. But the utterly confounding moment, the one that was so hilariously ridiculous it broke my anger streak, was this:
Over all, Mr. McCain was more charming and more colloquial, but his speaking style was at times choppy. He described North Korea as the most “repressive and brutal regime probably on earth,” adding: “The average South Korean is three inches taller than the average North Korean. A huge gulag.”
Pardon my French senator but what the fuck are you talking about?!
I cannot live in this country if this country elects McCain. Was brainstorming places to go and think my best idea is to get a job as a music director on a cruise ship, so I can float adrift on the open seas, boundless, stateless. The problem with this idea, however, is my terrible motion sickness; I sometimes want to throw up in taxis and recently barfed in the movie theater bathroom after watching 30 minutes of the film Ballast, which seemed excellent but is shot using nine million rapidfire jumpcuts and a hand-held camera. So I’ll probably just end up hawking Fanta on the beach of Barcelona, or selling baguette in some tiny tourist town in France. I would go to Mexico but it’s too close, too tied to the US economic situation, and too fucked by NAFTA, not to mention scary as hell right now what with the copious violence bleeding over from the narcos and drug-runners into the middle class for…no reason but poverty.
However, tomorrow I’m going to a NYFF party for Voy a Explotar (I’m Going to Explode), the first film produced by the joint prod.company owned by Gael Garcia Bernal and Diego Luna, so maybe I will find some hot brilliant Mexican national to husband and take me away from this potential McCain-Palin nightmare. Not Gael, he’s fiiine but way too short for me. Holler if you’re 6′ and over papis! Let’s go half on a 3/4 Mexican baby!

This entry was posted in Opinion. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to SOUTH KOREANS ARE SOOOOO TALL

  1. John Kim says:

    I was expecting an article of how tall koreans are. How did you end up talking politics. arrrggghhh

  2. ajioafsjd says:

    haha i know rite i was
    expecting the same thing john
    then i started reading a bit
    and i was like wtf is this

  3. Yong Joon Park says:

    I am the 2nd ttallest in my school.
    I doont know how i grew that fast
    i live in england atm
    but im going to korea from Feb
    John, u r korean but i thougt all korean r supposed to be tall,
    im not an exprt btw

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>