“Goodbye, Neil, I will see you in Heaven”

How about this?
Last night, while preparing for bed, I said, “I wish it would rain really hard tonight.” And the old man said, “it’s going to! The thunder is going to wake you up.”
This seemed somewhat whimsical and based on nothing, but was a nice sentiment, so I just said “I hope so” and immediately fell into a deep and wonderful sleep (new black-out curtains on the windows)….
Only to be awakened in the middle of the night BY THE LOUDEST THUNDER I HAVE EVER HEARD, and the hardest rainstorm I’ve been in since I think 1998! So loud I jumped awake and yelled “JESUS!” The old man muttered “I told you.”
Am I marrying a shaman?

Even if he’d read the weather report, which is highly fallible, but anyway, even if he’d read it and it said “thunderstorms tonight,” that still didn’t prove that the thunder would awaken me. It’s next-level weather magic in our home! I’m going to make him buy some lottery tickets.

He is in touch with the heavenly spirits. He also foretold my preparation of sloppy joes for dinner the other night, although I had given him no hints. If you have to have a monogamous life partner, why not a mystical earth shaman? He can probably cure your warts.

Yesterday he got so excited about our farm-share box that he insisted on using the stinging nettles they’d included (!!) to make “pesto.” Pesto? Pesto. This, somewhat needless to say, did not turn out well, primarily because of certain mechanical limitations of our kitchen, and his lack of experience with lemon juice. So then I was thinking, “this guy is definitely not an earth shaman,” but then he predicted the thunder awakening, and now I don’t know what to think.

Only 150 pages left to go in the Nazi book. If I can finish it without killing myself and/or others, it will mean I truly have the psychological constitution of a horse (dumb, plodding).
I like this Stephen King quote about writing ‘honestly’:

“For instance, if an elevator full of people, one of the ones in this very building – I want you to think about this later, I want you to think about it – if it starts to vibrate and you hear those clanks – this probably won’t happen but we all know it has happened, it could happen. It could happen to me or it could happen to you. Someone always wins the lottery. Just put it away for now until you go up to your rooms later. Anyway, if an elevator full of people starts free-falling from the 35th floor of the skyscraper all the way to the bottom, one of those view elevators, perhaps, where you can watch it happening, in my opinion, no one is going to say, “Goodbye, Neil, I will see you in heaven.” In my book or my short story, they’re far more apt to bellow, “Oh shit” at the top of their lungs because what I’ve read and heard tends to confirm the “Oh shit” choice. If that makes me a cynic, so be it.”

This entry was posted in Opinion. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to “Goodbye, Neil, I will see you in Heaven”

  1. Gene says:

    Look for large cookie sheets under your bed.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *