It finally happened. Rain! October 12 and the first drop of rain Portland has seen this autumn. A man in the elevator told me it’s been the driest autumn on record. I hate stuff like that. I want the geographical regions to behave the way they normally do, so that I can pretend that global warming is not that big a deal, or at least that its most horrific effects will occur long after I’m dead. Unless I die tomorrow though (knock on wood) that doesn’t seem likely.
Someone I respect who writes for a website I really love just claimed that THE HISTORIAN is #1 on her list of the scariest books ever written.
Scary. The Historian? #1. Scary? Does not compute….brain….melting….
Scary if you’re scared of being BORED TO DEATH
Remember how much I hate that book and how stupid it is? Oh my god. I’m upset all over again.
What kind of world do you inhabit where something like The Historian can actually frighten you? To me it seems like it must be a very sheltered world. Obviously we all live in a sheltered world, but there is this level of shelteredness that extends even to the ideas that go into our brains. Like the grownups who find Harry Potter to be frightening. Frightening? I can totally accept “compelling” or “interesting” or “fun,” but frightening?? Am I just a sicko or something, because of the massive number of truly perversely fucked up books I have read since my earliest memories? I was one of those kids who devoured books about serial killers. I would make my parents buy me biographies of Jeffrey Dahmer and stuff. When I was, like, an actual child. I mean, but still, I find it so hard to believe that anyone could read The Shining for example and then find Harry Potter scary. That anyone could read House of Leaves and then be blown away by the delightful shivers brought on by The Historian’s endless descriptions of minarets. Remember how the point of that book is that Vlad the Impaler has come back to life and is……starting a library. “Tea time is at 6, archivist! THERE WILL BE NO BISCUITS”
Then again I guess the stuff that scares you is idiosyncratic. Maybe there’s something in Harry Potter that really just pushes your childhood fear button. Like how some people somehow did not find Blair Witch scary and I was sitting there legitimately worried that I was going to faint or barf.
Maybe when you read the Historian you become so afraid of going to grad school that it makes you think the book itself is actually scary. BOOM
I literally think the wikipedia entry for Vlad the Impaler is significantly more frightening than anything in The Historian.
Man, no offense, everybody! Sorry about that. The Historian sold many trillions of copies, so I can only assume some of you are fans. I’m sorry for bumming out your high and I hope we can still be friends. Feel free to make fun of The Shining, for example, which is super racist and there’s that part where the cuckoo clock comes to life and starts fucking, which is, like, really?
So anyway. Talk about a sheltered life, though, fair’s fair–here I am getting upset that somebody likes a novel I don’t like! I’m always rudely thinking “man I wish I had HER problems” in various circumstances (woman yelling at my dog at the dog park) but I’m guilty of it too. “Can you believe how I have suffered, having to hear about how The Historian is a ‘fun read’”
I got some emo news yesterday and then got my period 3 days early and had to stay home instead of going to see Phil and Carolyn play. It wasn’t the best night, but it was fine. I ended up playing 3 hours of WIND WAKER.
You guys. Wind Waker! So I spent all of last winter playing Twilight Princess and going so deep with it. It became such a pleasurable part of my life. Something I did at night, when work was done, just a little treat for myself. I’m sure some of you are devoted “gamers” but I have not been since 8th grade, so this was a fun new thing in my life. But then I beat the game! Then summer came and there was no gaming at all. Then autumn came and I got that ol’ Twilight Princess feeling. I started half-heartedly playing it again, when suddenly Steve reminded me that I have Wind Waker. Matthew gave me so many Zeldas when he got rid of his game cube! Why did I forget?
It turns out, Wind Waker rules. I AM SO HAPPY
Last night I got the cool leaf that lets you fly
If I named my daughter Zelda everyone would think it was for Fitzgerald but I would know it was for the largely-absent videogame character
It’s a pretty tight name though. Not enough Z names in the world.
Did you read that NYer about K-Pop? JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!