American Nightmares

I had an ongoing zombie nightmare last night, but with the added twist of its not being really scary, more like watching-a-movie scary. I kept rising vaguely to consciousness but then thinking “no, I want to see what happens to me in that dream I’m having” and I’d go back into it. There was a giant craft made in an undulating shape so zombies couldn’t climb up it, a full-body x-ray scanner to see if you’d been infected, a city in the trees, rope ladders, a child who could talk to the zombies and who was later shot by an arrow. People lived on boats and there were vast trading communities on the sea, for everyone knows a zombie can’t swim.

I woke up with a lot of good ideas for protecting myself when the inevitable occurs.

We went to see Django last night (my second time, the old man’s first) and it was packed, and people were getting up and going to the bathroom NON-STOP for the entirety of the movie. Like, in the middle of the absolute most tense moment of the film, someone was like “this is a great time to go clomping down the aisle and head out for a li’l bathroom break.” I’ve never sat in such an active, fidgety audience. Also the guys next to us REEKED of weed and during a preview for some really hideous looking mega-action thriller one of them whispered in terror “what the FUCK is going on??” Later I heard them in the lobby discussing “the German guy” and how “it was cool he helped Django.” Indeed, young sirs.

Just deleted a hilarious rant about how offensive the first 5 minutes of “Lincoln” are.

I feel like the internet is ruining my brain. I don’t know how to be still and quiet anymore. I don’t know how to read anymore. I have no focus.


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3 Responses to American Nightmares

  1. pmg says:

    We saw Zero Dark Thirty last night, and it was the same thing—people bouncing up and down to go to the bathroom constantly, no matter what was happening on screen.

  2. Robebo says:

    In my last zombie dream, I was holed up in an attic with my arsenal… but the first floor people didn’t hold up (wonder what that means) and the zombies were a lurchin’ way before I expected them. There were zombie kitties and, in a comical turn, I stopped my run to a walk when I passed them so they wouldn’t swipe me. This one zombie was talking to me so I was like “ARE you a zombie?” and he would smile and say he wasn’t but then he kept twitching. So I pulled my trigger but the gun wouldn’t fire… zombie/anxiety/incapability dream, UGH!

  3. dv says:

    When I saw Django there were only like 10 people in the theater, but both andy and I took bathroom breaks. I took my break when they started riding out to Candieland, and when I got back, they were still riding. Django was another one of the topics I wanted to talk about at our lunch, because I did like it, but felt like if he’d cut an hour out of it, I would have liked it even more. Not even anything crucial, just cut 30 seconds of nothing happening here and there.

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