Gary and I have been legally wed for four years now or something
Oddly today I am thinking so much about all my friends who made our wedding so amazing, who took so many burdens from off my shoulders and made me feel loved even though I was such a completely frazzled maniac that whole day. I don’t think I calmed down until at least 3 days later. It was intense. When I imagined getting married I just always thought about how beautiful it would feel to make promises in front of all your loved ones–and it was!–but I sort of never realized how intense it is to plan a big party and try to make sure everyone from your cool friends to your aunt and uncle to your mother in law has a great time and feels included etc. etc. I am bad at that kind of thing but I also obsess about it, which is a lethal combination. I am bad at facilitating smooth and easy social interactions and noticing what other people are experiencing but I relentlessly worry about what everyone else is going through, if they’re having a good time, etc.
So many people helped me ultimately only have crushing regret concerning a couple of issues/people, instead of most.
I dedicate this day to you, my good friends, who did such a good job being nice and supporting our union and helping me not explode or have a heart attack.
Steve did so much work and driving and consulting and calming down certain people when they were crying hysterically on the phone, and he planned and made calls and told me about the place you can rent forks from, and he even knew where to take me to get fake boobs so my dress didn’t fall down, and he helped me pick the music we’d walk up and down the aisle to (Chariots of Fire and the theme from the 1996 Olympics, respectively) and he just generally stayed calm and made it seem like a fun normal thing to be doing: World’s best Mate of Honor
All my bridesdudes were incredible. Guacamole making and music DJing and playing and GREAT TOASTS, truly inspired toast performances. You all looked great in your finery.
Mike’s officiancy, blessing our union with such a good talk about the internet, also finding us a free venue! Great event coordinator.
Jac’s crazy cake, give me a break with that cake! THAT CAKE
Sarah’s beautiful photos, so many good dance pics and thank god a real artist documented that cake. She did a heroic job capturing a couple moments where I do not look like a goblin (I say that with self-love)
So many of you made such incredible food for everyone to eat! Such a good potluck! Shayla’s crazy hand-carved vegetable shapes! I can’t remember what anyone else brought but it was all beautiful and I was so honored you would do that.
Chi-chi bachelorette party with dick tiaras, all you ladies made my life! Most mind-blowing game of “I Never” in history. Feeling better about your weird life through finding commonalities.
all the weird presents you people brought (diorama of scuba diver and shark made of macaroni noodles; blessed crystal; steve martin record; book of shark jokes; Barry Manilow mouse pad; VHS tape of Simpsons episode with $5 stuck in sleeve)
Not to mention my family, hanging lights and setting up chairs and getting up at 5 in the morning to get the best farmers’ market flowers. My dad singing every verse of “forever young” to me. My mom dancing to Bruce Springsteen. My cool aunt dealing with the cake-cutting. My friend Ralph driving up from Mexico with a truckload of paper lanterns; my uncle stringing them up. My other aunt ironing my dress in the morning! My brother! Oh god.
And the next day we flew to rural France and had the whole thing with the cheese cart debacle! What a life.
I know getting married is square and heteronormative and kind of dumb but I did it anyway and I’m glad I did, and I’m glad I got the opportunity to feel so loved and supported by the best people in the world, my friends and my cool family. Thinking of those people today! Also my husband of course, who is cleaning up dog barf