13 Ways of Looking at a Weekend Alone in the House

1. In a stack of papers, each more incoherent than the last, one seems to shine out, as though lit from within by the divine glow of its interesting ideas and correct grammar. It is difficult to not write “thank you, thank you, thank god for you” on this paper

2. A box of leftover pizza lasts much longer when its owner is alone for the weekend

3. The dog, accustomed to the specific direction of his morning ramble with the partner who is not here this weekend, heads that way instinctively. He does not realize that it is the other partner walking him, and that they are going the other, more boring way

4. Many exciting plans are laid, in expectation of the inspiring solitude. Instead, it’s mainly just leftover pizza

5. Alone in the house for the weekend, a woman compulsively binge-watches serial killer dramas

6. In the night, the dog leaps up, barking ferociously down the stairs into the inky blackness of the living room below. A heart stops beating, due to terror. It is just someone getting into their car outside

7. Morning brings unexpected snow. The snow falls softly and quietly. A woman and a dog are alone in a world of snow. The dog stands looking out the window for long stretches of time

8. Four identical shapes on the ground; three are blobs of snow, and one is an old dryer sheet

9. It stops snowing. Then it starts snowing again

10. The woman who claims her dog is afraid of black dogs informs another woman that her (the first woman’s) dog is no longer afraid of her (the second woman’s) black dog. The reasons for this are unclear; she (the second woman) believes it is due to the fact that the whole premise of her (the first woman’s) dog’s fear of black dogs is wrong

11. There is an instagram account run by a man who has 7 elderly dogs and a pig

12. The pile of New Yorkers waits to be sent to a loved one on the other side of the country. The pile bristles with post-it notes, upon which many annotations and exclamation points are inscribed. Whether or when the pile will be mailed remains a mystery

13. While one partner is out of town, the other partner accidentally shatters the absent partner’s favorite lasagna pan, and has to use a soup ladle to clean all the glass out of the sink

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One Response to 13 Ways of Looking at a Weekend Alone in the House

  1. Alex says:

    NO MORE LASAGNA ;(

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