Oh my god. Help. I truly can not do my work.

Yesterday I kept walking up and down the stairs sighing loudly and groaning and finally my old man asked me what was wrong and I said “I WANT TO GO ANTIQUING” and he said “lets go then” and we got in the car and drove an hour and a half away to a quaint little town but it turned out there wasn’t a single antique shop so instead we went to an Andy Warhol exhibit at a local art museum and saw a lot of truly charming doodles of penises

This syllabus is crazy you guys. How do you do peer reviewing? It is so hard to envision the actual time and how to shape it. Is peer reviewing even worth it? It’s one of these buzz words everybody’s supposed to be “innovating” in their pedagogy to excel the data and strive for excellence and student-oriented learning and better serving the needs of the entrepreneurs of tomorrow but is it all just bullshit? I don’t know yet. I do think that editing other people’s shitty papers can really help you see what makes a paper shitty, and that’s a good thing. Anyway I’m going for it.

There is so much to do that has nothing to do with my job. I have to call a roofer and stuff. I have to figure out how to pack my cake stand so it won’t shatter into a billion pieces. I am googling “skyr” and skimming mold off my pickles and trying to figure out how to build a picket fence. Meanwhile DANG IT I still have a job I have to do, like, for money.

School-related anxiety dreams are starting back up. The other night I dreamed I couldn’t find my classroom, over and over again. Weeks were going by, with me never finding my classroom. Knowing the students were showing up each day, wondering where the professor was. No one would help me. Everyone I stopped to ask for directions just shrugged. So it was also a dream about lumbering bureaucracies I guess. Anyway I never did find my classroom and I woke up in a cold sweat, although that is normal for me because I am experiencing early-onset peri-menopause.

Well I guess that’s about it

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