I am almost finished with a PhD. I like dogs and cats and apples. I like music. I like writing. I am a lady, or woman. Alone among my friends, all comedy connoisseurs, I like Monty Python, both skits and films. I am trying to learn to speak French. I have fallen off a horse. I have eaten moose, though now I am vegetarian. I have never believed in god. I had a car but it broke and now I don’t have a car and it is fine. I read a lot. My eyesight is poor; I wear thick glasses. My struggles are several but do not involve: disability (besides legal blindness); mental illness; eating disorder; abusive childhood; dyslexia; dandruff. I love rain, comedy, writing music, red wine, coffee, and autumn. I hate leaf blowers, David Denby, the global phenomenon of Harry Potter, and college sports. When I grow up-which will be in approximately seven months when I presumably file my dissertation-I want to be a professor. If I had a million dollars, I would get a massage every day, I would get my eyes fixed, I would buy a Nord, and I would only use those fancy pens I used to order when I was a secretary at a law firm but which I am too cheap to buy for myself. Last year I read Cloud Atlas and Infinite Jest in a row and my reading life was changed forever. I love the movie “The Saddest Music in the World.” I can’t read James Joyce, which is understandable, or Virginia Woolf, which isn’t. I live in a patriarchy. I live during strange and scary times (then again, who hasn’t?). I never learned to skateboard. I would like to go on a yoga retreat and not speak for a month. I just saw my friend Callie walking across the street. I would like to write a novel.

4 Responses to About

  1. Gavin says:

    I am Jacques Barzun’s son-in-law and am debating whether to give him your hilarious blog to read. He may have difficulty with some of the terminology, ‘stoked’ is not , I think, in his lexicon and I don’t fancy having to provide a definition or explanation why more conventional words fail to convey the same idea. That aside, you sound interesting. He does, as you say, live in San Antonio for reasons I could explain. I live in New York for reasons I cannot.

  2. Yours Truly says:

    The idea of Jacques Barzun reading my blog fills me with many emotions I can not easily describe or catalog, many of them contradictory. He is obviously a great hero of mine, but I surely would never have imagined the man himself reading my extremely ill-thought-out blathering. Your speculation about him encountering the word “stoked” is amazing and is making me laugh still. Could you leave me your email, perhaps?

  3. ro6ot says:

    if I continue to worry about chiming in with my relatively shallow and/or pointless ramblings, I will continue to say absolutely nothing, ever. This would perhaps be more or less of a shame; thankfully that question will not arise as here I chime…
    All this is just to say that your ‘about’ page still describes your doctorate as yet-to-be.

  4. PetSounds says:

    I love you! Don’t take that in a sexual way. I just love you and your blog. And your dog.

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