Urban Honking

In April of 2010 the shareholders passed a resolution to have me register as a Republican. Since then it’s been an interesting path of discovery. I’ve met and Facebook-friended the Chairman of the Oregon Republican Party and shook hands with Reince Preibus (though I had to recently unfollow him on Twitter due to his weird [...]

“I went and got two macarons at the fancy tourist place, and I ate one and I was gonna save the other one for a present for you, but then I ate that one too.” “Well I have truly married my mother.” “I was just so hungry.” “I would have enjoyed that macaron, honey, it’s [...]

The snoopy got into my bag while I was gone and ate $11 worth of fancy all-local trail mix and now for two days his poops have been this lovely deep purple hue and filled with expensive hazelnuts and pistachios. I can’t punish him because he doesn’t remember doing it. It’s like living with a [...]

NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! NOW I WISH I’D NEVER STARTED WATCHING YOU, SPARTACUS BLOOD AND SAND! Why give the world such a beautiful face only to take it away immediately via google? Poor Andy Whitfield. He was WELSH! Ugh, he just keeps getting better in my comprehension while in real life he’s been dead for four months! Look [...]

Ok some house keeping is in order! You people have asked me several questions that I have yet to answer. 1. My chiropractor group is Ashton Geness, and I believe the specific one I see is called “Mary Ann.” She is fab and you can ask her any anatomy question you have ever had and [...]

Well like any film buff worth their weight in geldings I am of course a huge fan of the original, best, and eternal Kubrick Spartacus, starring Laurence Olivier, Tony Curtis, Jean Simmons, and an extremely emo Kirk Douglas. And, like any tired lonely schoolteacher whose husband is in Paris, I am of course a huge [...]

Pretty big to-do list for this weekend. I forgot about two crucial things, is the problem. 1) I’m teaching a writing workshop on Monday and don’t know how to do that, and 2) I forgot I am substitute teaching somebody else’s class on Wednesday, and 3) (so, 3 things I forgot) I’m getting a huge [...]

If all tools express a natural law, then the saw enunciates. It is preexistent, delicate biology translated upon the anvil. We set and sharpen and polish its teeth ‘til the metaphor gleams. The saw has a long and surprisingly fabled history. This is the first in a series of posts retelling various mythologies of The [...]

I first saw this movie upon it’s release, probably by myself, at the Uptown Theatre in Minneapolis in 9th grade. Pre-riot grrrl revelation/punk rock newbie portion of my life, but immediately prior to that cusp. I know I saw it at least once and I was evangelical about it to all three of my friends. [...]

One of my best friends was just in town, which was awesome, and which led, as it so often does these days, to some cool painful soul searching. Specifically “why don’t I enjoy going out late at night and having fun?” This seems to be a pretty universally enjoyed activity by everyone I know who [...]