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I just sent my dissertation to my committee!

edited February 2011
Have to toot my own horn just a tiny bit
since no one is around to toot it for me
and I'm away from my colleagues and my department
I just formatted the shit out of it (203 pages; weird margins; weird double-space between footnotes, looks like dogshit but what can you do? Rules are rules)
and sent it away forever!
There is no taking it back.
They will now tell me if it is acceptable enough to defend.
If it isn't, I guess I will keep working on it? I don't know. I will be devastated beyond belief, and will cry.
If it is, though, I will defend it, and at the defense they will tell me everything that is wrong with it and all the stuff I need to change.
Then they will tell me if it will be acceptable to file it once I have made the changes.
If it is, then I will go to wherever I am staying and make all the changes they say I have to make.
Then I will either go to Kinko's and print it out
Or I will ask my department's student affairs officer if I can secretly print it out in the TA Office and if she has any of the fancy paper you have to print it on. This is a long shot; probably Kinko's it will be, where they will no doubt do a terrible job and waste a bunch of my cash.
Once it's printed (2 copies, 3 copies of the title page), I will take it to the filing lady, who will tell me if it has been formatted correctly.
It almost certainly will not have been.
So I will go back to wherever I am staying and format it until the wee hours and stress out about my musical examples.
Then I will print it out again. This costs roughly $50 due to the fanciness of the required paper stock.
Then I will take it back to the filing lady.
If she approves it, she will count all its pages by hand using one of those weird sticky finger things, and then FILE IT
And I think give me a piece of paper saying I successfully filed it?? Not sure.

AND THEN I WILL BE A DOCTOR

NOT THE KIND THAT CAN FIX YOUR BROKEN LEG

THE OTHER KIND

IT TOOK ME ONLY FIVE AND A HALF YEARS OF MY HARD-EARNED LIFE

TOOT TOOT
TOOT

Comments


  • http://www.collegestore.org/ge2/phd.asp


    "Degree Tassel"
    "Jumbo Tassel"
    "Doctoral Tam"
  • TOOT TOOT!
    Con"grad"ulations!
    Do it in Papyrus next time!
    I remember printing my dissertation the day it was due. I worked on it until 4am. Nobody at my school had read any of it. So stressful. But I did well! And so will you.
  • The printing feels like the most stressful part!

    TOOT TOOT TO ALL OF US!
  • I had no idea writing a dissertation was such a gauntlet!
  • Toot toot!!!
  • Huzzah upon you!! I hope you will enjoy three copies of a glass of champaign after the filing is complete! The good stuff!
  • I shall, and, if time and the ol' pocketbook permit, I shall get a "Goddess Treatment" at the Korean spa in Koreatown!

    I probably won't.
  • I'm a doctor too!

    So crazy how specific the process is. Esoteric.
  • what are you a doctor of?
  • Wow. A very hearty congratulations to you.

    What will the defense look like? I love the idea of "defenses."
  • I know!
    You get dressed up, and bring in donuts or something.
    Then I don't know what they are like. I think they are different depending on every committee and every person, although departments do tend to have general vibes (super hard and mean / real easy and supportive, etc.).

    I'm really excited to hear their thoughts. I hope they aren't too hard on me.

  • Congratulations, very smart person!
    203 pages is long!
  • well a lot of that is the insane formatting requirements (1.5 inch margins??? If a student turned in a paper with those I would automatically deduct a letter grade!)
  • I still say, a good defense is a good offense. Do you know the names of the people judging you?
  • edited March 2011
    HA HA HA HA

    "I don't know, what do YOU think the central methodology of the work is? HUH SMART GUY"

    Or sitting down and before any of them says anything I go "I just want to start by saying that your most recent article was TOTALLY FLAWED"
  • I'm a doctor of metaphysics.
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