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Lady Clothes

edited April 2011
How do people DO THIS.

I wore high heeled boots to work and I am dying. It's only 8:36 in the morning! My toes are all crunched together and my heels and hips are killing me and I already almost fell down twice. I can not believe people get so comfortable in these things! Everybody else looks so good and natural, running around in their heels! The drunk girls here even stagger around inebriated in them, running and chasing boys and swinging their shirts above their heads with nary a misstep or grimace of pain! HOW? I am HELLA OLDER AND WISER THAN THOSE BITCHES. Why they got it figured out and me not?!

also, how do you even pick out "professional work clothes." What is that, like, khakis? Jesus christ. I either look like I just rolled out of bed; am a little boy; or am going to a "slutty halloween dress-up party." Can't figure out how to split the dif.

Don't even get me started on makeup. WTF EVEN IS IT. These huge enormous bags of like brushes and powders and containers and tubes and like seventeen different things are supposed to glob onto your fucking face every fucking morning?? HOW DO YOU EVEN LEARN THAT / WHY

Isn't it weird that this is the province of women and not at all of men? Except cross-dressers, and a tip of the hat to those guys. The most frou-frou and fussy fellow need only know about clothing and possibly hair products. What is all this insane shit the ladies have concocted for themselves to know about/feel forever confused about?! "Mascara"? "Concealer"? Are you fucking kidding me? What the fuck? To say nothing of, like, how come everybody can get the insides of their thighs so smooth and hairless EXCEPT ME. To say nothing of how do you even wear one of those thick belts that like goes around underneath your rib cage? Everybody looks so cool in those but I look like a little girl dressing up in her aunt's clothes from the 70's.

Signed,

Torn Between Being Glad To Mostly Wear Jeans And Feeling Sad and Forlorn Outside The Glowing Circle Of Representative Femininity Even Though A Lot Of It Is Bullshit



Comments

  • I feel you.

  • Is there actually a dress code at yr work, TeenWolf? Don't you work at a university? Do you interact with members of the public/clients? Can't you just wear some comfortable pants/jeans and a t-shirt and flat shoes? Will you be reprimanded for not looking fancy? This is very weird to me!
  • I'm not complaining about my own personal current situation, although I have definitely worked at terrible Dress Code Places before. I was more just musing in bafflement at the greater world of femininity, a world in which I largely do not take part.
  • 1. get some coveralls
    2. cut off the arms legs
    3. call it good
    4. ???
    5. profit
  • what you have just described, sir, is a "romper," and I believe you will find that that fashion is already "sweeping the nation" in various Vice Magazine type places
  • im not gonna say thats a bad thing

    romp 2011 to infinity ATMO
  • I'm going to take care of you.
  • Come to my house and give me a makeover!
    Buy me a wardrobe.
    I need Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

    ......I'M THE STRAIGHT GUY!!!!
  • Women's fashion sort of feels abysmal to me. Dressing up is a weird concept. The definition of "dressing up" varies so much from one person to the other.
    I use to cuss at women who wear make up until suddenly one day I realized that almost every woman I know wears make up, at least once in a while, or such a small amount that it's barely noticeable/such an unusual amount that it's exciting and obviously for play.
    I guess I am mostly hyperaware of teenage girls I know, that day when all of sudden they go from a fresh looking long-legged youngster to a pasty girl with eyeliner... I find it upsetting and also a shame. I want to tell them to let that skin breathe...
    I rarely have to worry about what I am wearing, but looking a little nice still has a big effect on me. I have trouble finding pants that fit right and are affordable so about a year ago I got into wearing my "bad" pants when I would work from home so I wouldn't wear out the "good" ones. It felt stupid. I started feeling terrible about myself and really letting myself go.
    One time I was in Turin, Italy and had a fancy exhibition/concert at the chamber of commerce with all these fancy-pants dignitaries and museum owners attending the party given literally in my honor. Walking around the city I got super anxious because in Italian cities it feels like everyone in the whole world was wearing very expensive and carefully put together clothes. Even the maybe-homeless looked better than me. I thought I'd be able to blend in by wearing black, but my black clothes were far too faded. What would have been just fine at home made me look like shit in Turin. I looked around in stores and only found out that I had very expensive taste. Then I decided to go ragamuffyn all the way and played my show wearing my pajama top and worn out jeans. It worked.

    Like TeenWolf I sometimes dream of someone giving me a makeover. But I am weird about people touching my hair and the times when I tried some eyeliner I wanted to cry because it didn't look like the "me" I was used to.



  • wear natural
    or wear wash... (and wear)
    wear it up with a belt
    wear it down as a gown
    accessorize
    powder your eyes
  • edited April 2011
    I think it's true that Italian people dress the best. I always love when I see an Italian tourist in America, outshining everyone around them.

    anja says it's because they have such harsh import laws that they just go really deep on making clothes there.
  • Italian college dudes in London look awful, though.

    Baggy jeans, Quiksilver t-shirts, Nikes.

    I guess like college dudes everywhere.
  • Italian dressing is pretty awful sometimes!
    Things get sort of Euro/gelled hair/shiny fabric/stiletto.

    On the other hand, they do have fine, fine craftspeople making fibers and fabrics, and there's a lot of excellent clothing to be had in Italy.
    CASHMERES!

    One thing they do really well in Italy and France is ladies underwear. It still gets frilly/girly, but I've found a lot more tasteful options in realistic sizes in those countries. Bras for the smaller lady that DON'T have padding!
    Things made of nice lace, and that don't smack of tawdriness. They get really into an elegant underpant, and I appreciate it.
  • In Venice and Turin I saw many seven year-olds with complicated haircuts requiring a lot of hair products and so much acid wash denim with weird zippers all-over.
    The carpenters helping me hang my show were wearing a combination of track suits, loafers and thick silver jewelry. A lot of gel in the hair, too. Tony Soprano and his nephew, basically.
    I think that it is true that some Italians can dress pretty awful, but somehow still put a lot of care into it. I think there is a similar vibe in France. I guess it's like the European equivalent of American white trash.
    France has good underwear, it's true. And it's also pretty cheap. As a teenager with very little money I got many pairs of long-lasting underwear in bright solid colors at Tati for one euro a piece. Those were the days.
    I would love to find fancy feminine underwear without little bows on it. The bows make everything look super trashy. I carefully take them off.
  • Late to the game, but this is sort of funny for me, because I wear heels at work every day. My colleagues often mock me for my shoe rack under my desk (maybe 10 or 12 pairs?). And I dress better than most of my colleagues. But I don't know, I just like dressing up at work - it's fun, and as a working mom, it's sort of a treat to get to dress nice without getting covered in snot or food, and it makes me feel more professional....it's just not a big deal. But then, I've been doing it every day for sort of a lot of years.
  • p.s. Rimsy, send me a description (or better yet, a photo) of the clothing options available to you. We can come up with some work outfits.
  • ok I will work on this.

    I would say that my main problem is shoes: what looks good/what looks like a joke/how to wear anything/colors/etc???
  • freddy takes it to a new level
    besides what to wear.....
    what kind of shoe rack to keep under your desk.

    My loyalty to a boss was cemented when I witnessed the fine hanger they kept on their door.
  • You can see my shoe stash at minute 1:49 of this video.

    Rimsy! Can I help you buy shoes??? That sounds like so much fun.
  • sure!!! hell yes. I enjoy/need fashion help as much as possible!
  • Well, it's easy to tell you which shoes I would buy, but that's no good - you need something that fits your style. Do you like any of your shoes now? Can you send me a pic or a link? And is there an outfit or outfits that you need shoes for? And have you seen any shoes you loved lately?
  • Willow has these flats in bright yellow. I only see black and red on that website. But they are super cute - a little casual, but not in a schlubby way. Not veegs, though...
  • I want some flats but they are tough for me because I don't get how you walk in them. They always fall off my feet even if I buy them super tight. Also they give me blisters, whether tight or not. The only flats I've ever successfully worn were these way-too-casual canvas espadrilles I got at rad summer, but they too have fallen apart and gone the way of the dodo.

    this is just one of the many reasons why I feel like I somehow missed something crucial in my Ladyhood Education. How hard can it be to wear shoes?

    but yeah, I would like to find a low-heeled pump that is not prissy, not all witchy pointy-toed, that would look hot with jeans but also be appropriate for "the office," but that has a heel that is walk-on-able by someone who is not good at walking in heels (i.e. low-ish/wide/soft but without being a huge hoof-like clog/wedge type deal). does this shoe exist.

    I like the Naturalizer call, above.

    I also need BLACK BOOTS WITH HEELS that are not outrageous motorcycle-stripper-vibe that could be worn with a PENCIL SKIRT for possible JOB INTERVIEWS.

  • I will look for images of shoes I like.
    I am really not good at shoes. I am a flip flop type of a dude. And I don't even like my flip flops! they are so fucking ugly! But I can't find flip flops I like!
    WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
  • If you have problems with shoes falling off your feet, I recommend a mary jane style, t-strap, or ankle strap. As a bonus, those will be good for bicycling too. I'll get to work.

    Boots are hard to do without trying on. Real hard.
  • edited May 2011
    yes, I have discovered this the hard way (etsy, you fickle mistress!).

    I have one pair of sexy boots I like but they are brown and my husband says they look "weird" every single time I try them on with an outfit.

    It's possible I should not listen to him.
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