How do people DO THIS.
I wore high heeled boots to work and I am dying. It's only 8:36 in the morning! My toes are all crunched together and my heels and hips are killing me and I already almost fell down twice. I can not believe people get so comfortable in these things! Everybody else looks so good and natural, running around in their heels! The drunk girls here even stagger around inebriated in them, running and chasing boys and swinging their shirts above their heads with nary a misstep or grimace of pain! HOW? I am HELLA OLDER AND WISER THAN THOSE BITCHES. Why they got it figured out and me not?!
also, how do you even pick out "professional work clothes." What is that, like, khakis? Jesus christ. I either look like I just rolled out of bed; am a little boy; or am going to a "slutty halloween dress-up party." Can't figure out how to split the dif.
Don't even get me started on makeup. WTF EVEN IS IT. These huge enormous bags of like brushes and powders and containers and tubes and like seventeen different things are supposed to glob onto your fucking face every fucking morning?? HOW DO YOU EVEN LEARN THAT / WHY
Isn't it weird that this is the province of women and not at all of men? Except cross-dressers, and a tip of the hat to those guys. The most frou-frou and fussy fellow need only know about clothing and possibly hair products. What is all this insane shit the ladies have concocted for themselves to know about/feel forever confused about?! "Mascara"? "Concealer"? Are you fucking kidding me? What the fuck? To say nothing of, like, how come everybody can get the insides of their thighs so smooth and hairless EXCEPT ME. To say nothing of how do you even wear one of those thick belts that like goes around underneath your rib cage? Everybody looks so cool in those but I look like a little girl dressing up in her aunt's clothes from the 70's.
Torn Between Being Glad To Mostly Wear Jeans And Feeling Sad and Forlorn Outside The Glowing Circle Of Representative Femininity Even Though A Lot Of It Is Bullshit